May 16, 2023

Corporate CPR Episode 79: Why We Can’t Expect People to Leave Their Personal Life at Home. 

On today’s show we talk about why we can’t expect people to leave their personal life at home. 

Natalie Boudou is an executive coach and facilitator working with executives, senior management, and leadership teams from a wide range of corporates and international organizations. She is a specialist in the field of resilience at work. Her expertise covers areas such as agility, positivity, emotional intelligence, and communications skills. She helps clients to define their objectives and needs and to improve their performance at work. Throughout her career she has excelled at coaching teams and getting the best out of people and she brings this passion and skill to her coaching practice. Natalie has worked closely with multinationals, the U.N. and NGO’s developing resilient leaders and highly engaged and collaborative teams.

Key Takeaways

What’s wrong with the philosophy that people should leave their personal life at home? 

We are complete human beings, and our power is not just how we work, but also what we bring to the workplace. We can’t check our emotions at the door. 

Does having to hide your emotions at work become a burden for employees?

Yes, when you can express your emotion freely there’s an emotional labor that takes its toll.

Is there a problem with people being themselves too much and bringing too much emotion at work? 

It’s important for people to have emotional intelligence to understand their feelings so they know how to handle their emotions at work. They need to learn how to dial up or down our emotions based on the situation. A lot of this has to do with the organizational culture, are emotions embraced or are they looked down on?

What is the role of emotions in decision making?

  • We make decisions with our gut as well as our mind. Our emotions can have both a negative and positive impact on decision making. 
  • Positive thoughts or moods will impact the way you take a decision so it is good to know where you are emotionally when making decisions. 
  • Creativity and innovation are largely impacted by emotions. 
  • Motivation is emotion so it is crucial we acknowledge its role. 

Why are emotions important?

They give us a message and it’s up to you to look at the message it is telling you.

Do our emotions every lie to us? As in, “I don’t like this, I want to give up?” Doesn’t mean you should give up…

That is an example of a mindset, which are usually subconscious. Sometimes acknowledging the emotion associated with a way of thinking can be helpful to realize a mindset so you can challenge what is going on and give you the chance to make a choice about how to deal with the mindset.

What about the gender stereotype in the workplace?

  • There are still stereotypes about how different genders should act. It’s important to work with both the individual and the organization to educate about these stereotypes to break them. 

What are your recommendations for organizations to break down stereotypes?

  • Create clarity that stereotypes of the past are not valid. 
  • Give employees flexible work arrangements to create equal opportunities between men and women especially around family. 
  • Have conversations between genders about how they feel at work. 
  • Get curious about how it feels for people to be at work and what they think could be improve. 
  • Encourage men to speak up and use their emotions in a positive way. 

What is the role of burnout in emotional work:

Burnout is a joint responsibly on the individual to understand their emotions and the organization to provide an emotional environment people can flourish. Organizations should ask personal questions like “How are you feeling about…” to make sure they are hearing from their employees about their emotional state. And the employee feels listened to. 

How do encourage employees to share more about how they are really feeling?

1) Ask questions

2) Really listen 

3) Care about the answer

How do you create an atmosphere of trust?

  • Often call it psychological safety. Team leader needs to be fostering and the rest of the team can support it. 
  • Discuss with the team how you want to operate. Have an open discussion to set up ground rules about what will make the team feel safe. 
  • Leader needs to show vulnerability at times, ask for help, ask for feedback etc. These things will help the team feel safe because leader is opening up. 
  • Feedback is regular and constant. Doesn’t feel awkward. 

Advice for how to be a good listener?

  • Think about your challenges to listening. What are the traps you fall into when listening?
  • Ask others how you are as a listener?
  • Give yourself time where you’re not distracted and you’re listening to the person. 
  • Listening is a long-term investment. Make the time and it will come back to you two-fold.

Top 3 Takeaways:

1. Check in and get curious about what people say

2. Especially with hybrid teams, be more intentional about having an emotional connection with your team members.

3. Take time to listen to people. 

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